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loriK

loriK

The Mercenary - Cornelia Grey What to say. This short story was enjoyable in plot but was not easy to read. And by that I mean -technically easy.

The author chose words and descriptives for the flowery effect rather than making the story readable and the flow smooth. For instance, concupiscence was use instead of the far simpler -lust. Now I am all about increasing my vocabulary but not so much when I am in the middle of a story and have to keep using my dictionary (thank god for electronic readers). I went to college too, but maybe it was too long ago or maybe alternative words to lust just weren't up my alley, but it seemed forced and theatrical. This was common throughout the story.

Pretty prose is nice but in a thriller type short story it just slows down the action. For instance-"The grayish intangible tentacles enveloped the heart of the City in an immense nebulous case, the gold of the Inner Circle shining dimly behind it as a small voiceless bird".....Hunh?? And there was just no context at all. I read that paragraph at least three times and gave up. Towards the end of the book I just started skimming because it was just too much trouble to read with hardly any payoff.

The dialog is such a very small part of the story that I was always looking to the next set of quotation marks so I could find out what the characters were thinking. I felt the author sacrificed the characters/romance for creativity on description.